Phyco's Any One?
by Dags-Calhoun
Summary: This is so incredably stupid so don't take any thing serios. The teachers at Hogy Warty Hogwarts have to take a phyc test and things go wrong. PLease don't review and say this is stupid I know that already.
1. Chapter 1

IT was quite a normal day until the Headmaster told us that we were going to be tested by the MoM to see if we were nuts or not. I was fairly sure I would pass this test but Dumbledore himself I was iffy about. HE the old man came up all feeble but nice and happy, he wasn't as nearly as strange as Dumbledore but he was working that way in my mind but then I don't really matter in all this they can't get rid of me so easily.Oh look he's talking. "_This is just I phycilogical test to see if you can work well with your co-workers as you see them. You will each come to me one at a time and take this test."_ said the old man with his clipboard in hand already taking notes of the Proffesors behavior.

"First up will be…."

DUMBLEDORE "So Headmaster-" 

"Please, call me Albus."

"OF course, I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. Alright here we go. **Severus.** Liquorish. …Um ok. **Minerva.** Choclate covered olives. …Ri-ight.** Filius.** Fizzing Whizbees 

_..HHmmm_. **_Argus._**

Berttie botts every flavored beans.

…_I'll leave that alone. **Irma.**_

Sugar Quills .

…_. **Poppy.**_

White chocolate.

_I don't even want to know.**Binns.**_

Ice Mice.

_You would .**Sinistra.**_

Acid pops.

_Weird.** Sprout.**_

Pumpkin pasties.

Gives him a weird look **_Sybill._**

Chocolate frogs

_Alright next. **Vector.**_

Pepper mints.

_Ok last one. **Magic.**Now this one he was thinking he would be normal stupid him huh?_

LEMON DROPS!

_Umm……Well, you can leave now. Please send in Proffesor McGonagle in next._

_This was sure to be fun._

MCGONAGLE , I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. Alright here we go. **Albus.**

Lion.

Understandable. **Severus.**

Snake.

_Again, understandable. **Filius**_

Mice

_Alright. **Argus**_

Rat.

_Ook. **Irma**_

Pigeon

_Mmmhhmm.**Poppy**_

Dove

_Right. **Binns.**_

Sloth.

_Righty then. **Sinistra**_

Spider

_Ok on then.**Sprout.**_

Badger

_Oh good another understandable one. **Sybill.**_

Toad

Nice to know.**Vecter.**

Dog.**Looks about to puke**

_Alright last one. **Magic. **_

TABBY CAT!

….OK please leave and send in Proffesor Flitwick. 

This is so much fun Don't you think?

FLITWICK 

_I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. Ok here we go. **Albus.**_

Airplane 

_Oh god not again. Last one then**. Magic.**_

Hot air balloon,yes hot air balloon.

_OK then you can leave send in Sinistra._

_I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. Now then. **Albus**_

Fucker.

_Ok there's some anger. **Severus**_

Fuck up.

_Right then anger there to. **Minerva**_

Frigid Bitch.

Lots of anger huh? **Filius**

Dumb ass Pixie fucker

_Maybe it's just bad language then. **Argus**_

Ronchy ho.

_Yes bad language. **Irma**_

Stick up her ass.

_Right_. **_Poppy_**

Snoty prude.

Ok. Binns. 

Dead fucker

_You would**. Sprout**_

Ronchy Bitch ho.

_You need sope.** Sybill.**_

Sleasy ho.

_Alright**. Vecter.**_

Prick.

_HHHMm..Last one is **Magic.**_

Fuck you, you fucking fucker.

Well I never! Alright this ends todays meetings next time I will start with……… 

**Well hope you like or dislike I really don't care either way as long as this gets out of my system.**


	2. Chapter 2

After quite a lot of thought I believe I will skip every on but Argus Filch, Sara Sprout, and Severus Snape please come in that order and we can get this over with.

FILCH , I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. All right here we go.** Albus.**

Shackles

_Just no… Um **Magic.**_

Death, Destruction, Dismemberment, and chaos

_OK NEXT. _

_SPROUT_

_, I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. All right here we go.** Albus**_

Old oak.

Ok that works.** Minerva**

Cherry tree.

One of them again.** Severus**

Black Tupelo Ok what ever that is. Filius 

**Dwarf Russian**

_Ok **Argus**_

Rotten log

_I guess you don't like him then**. Irma**_

Spruce, White 

_What ever you say. **Poppy**_

Beach wood

All right that's all I need please leave now. Professor snape please come in.

SNAPE 

_, I will say a series of words and I would like you to say the first thing that pops into your mind. So..Here. We go I guess.** Albus**_

Crack addict

'_Tell me he's not a drugie'**Minerva**_

The Romans had it wrong.

Well he seems ok.. For now.** Filius**

Has to be dwarf.

Well ok.** Argus**

The essence of Grunge.

Apparently no one likes him.** Irma**

Rigid.

HHmm. **Poppy**

Leave me alone woman.

_I'm not a woman! Oh right anyway.** Binns**_

BE gone with you.

_Ok I think that was for him.** Sinistra**_

Stop talking

_Is he trying to tell me something? **Sprout**_

Needs a hobby.

_Ok almost done.** Sybill.**_

Somebody shoot her already.

_How rood. **Vecter**_

What's your Vecter Victor?

_HHmm. Alright last one here. **Magic**_

AN art.

Ok, you Mr. Snape have to be the sanest man here.

**He gives a scary as all hell grin stands up and walks out the door throwing in a small pink thing inside.**

The old man picks it up and reads in curly writing the words.

_**THE MONKEYS WONNA PLAY WITH YOU!**_

Though all the teachers stayed the poor old man was never seen again but the Students of Hogwarts can sometimes hear. "But I don't wonna play with you monkeys any more leave me alone!" and strange monkey like noises at night.


End file.
